Feeding the Me Monster

Psychology Today Blogs by Jack Schafer Ph.d. - 1h ago Preview

 
 
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Selfies are snacks for the Me Monster

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Source: Antonio Guillem/123RF
The Me Monster is nibbling at the edge of our social fabric. Society is no longer a collective we, but, rather, a collection of individual me(s). Everybody does what they think is right in their own eyes. Truth as a global principle no longer exists. My truth has replaced global truth. The term “my truth” is a nice way of saying “Whatever I think is right is right even if what I think does not comport with reality. The world is about me to the exclusion of other people. We no longer do things for other people. We do things with other people to make me look good. The focus is on me. Egos unchecked become Me Monsters.

Selfies are snacks for the Me Monster. Selfies by definition focus on self. We may take selfies with other people, but the main attraction is me. People risk life and limb to take the perfect selfie. Why? To get as many people to watch me on social media. The more likes I get, the bigger my self-esteem grows. The focus on looking good in selfies has gone to the extreme. Selfies are not candid shots of life. Selfies are nothing more than photoshopped images of ourselves as we want people to see us, not the way we really look.

When I fail, it is not my fault. Somebody else must be blamed. Failure used to build character – not anymore. Failure creates victims. Victimhood seeks attention. Instead of admitting our failures and strive to do better next time, victims want all eyes on them. They stagnate in the clutches of the Me Monster. Self-pity feeds the Me Monster.

The Me Monster has a voracious appetite that needs to be feed constantly. If the focus is not on me, then I am driven to do something or say something that will refocus attention off others and back onto me. The trouble with outrageous acts is that in order to gain attention, the act someone does must be more outrageous than the previous outrageous act to refocus attention on themselves. School shooting illustrate this point. So many school shootings have happened in the past few years that killing only a few students does not even make headlines anymore Society has become inoculated to violence. Headlines are created when multiple tens of students are slaughtered. The Me Monster leaves human debris in its wake, but who cares because it’s all about me.

Humans are communal beings. The quickest way to harm communal beings is to isolate them from other people. Solitary confinement is a good example of how powerful isolation is. Prisoners in solitary confinement eventually go crazy without human contact. Unlike physical solitary confinement, the Me Monster psychologically isolates people from one another. We know that physical and psychological isolation causes emotional harm; yet, we continue to do things to isolate ourselves from other people. Why? Because it’s all about me. If you don’t believe that just ask me and I will tell you my truth.


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About the Author

John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., is a behavioral analyst for the FBI, and is the author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over.

In Print:
Advanced Interviewing Techniques: Proven Strategies for Law Enforcement, Military, and Security Personnel (Second Edition)